Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
