I must be too annoying 4 u.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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