You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
