The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
