awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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