I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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