Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
i think my cat just said my name.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
