I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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