Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
