He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
