you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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