I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Is it penis luge time yet?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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