butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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