That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
