Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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