I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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