He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
