I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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