Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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