I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
