Whatcha textin bout Willis?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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