We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
