Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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