sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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