i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
