If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
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