Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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