my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
How external is "for external use only"?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
