No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
