We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My penis needs a shock collar
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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