It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
