Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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