HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
