she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
