Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
