Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
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