i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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