She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
