Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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