Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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