Grow some girl-balls and come out already
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
