i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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