There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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