That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
