But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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