i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
