Whod you bang
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
