my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
