Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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