covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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