Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
