so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
